Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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