Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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