You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Bring me that man meat
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
