How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
