I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
