Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
