i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
