I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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