she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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