The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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