Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
