That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
