addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
