Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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