Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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