Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
