Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
