dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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