Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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