And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
youre lurking in front of me
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
