Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
