I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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