Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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