i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
