i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
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