I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
