He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
