Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
