party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
If its not for food we ain't going out.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
