Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize