Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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