She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
My ATM looks so different sober.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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