he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
They have beer where we have blood.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
