real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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