so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Can I color on your dick again?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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