More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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