Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
