Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
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