drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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