Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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