I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
