I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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