Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
