Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
