I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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