So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
