Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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