I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
