When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize