after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
