seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
