You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize