We're facebook friends in real life
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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