If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
