we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize