can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Randomize
