I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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