I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I love having hate sex.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
